Frozen in Fear
"People have a hard time letting go of their suffering. Out of a fear of the unknown, they prefer suffering that is familiar."
Thich Nhat Hann
Frozen in Fear
By Anita Stewart, RN
Have you ever been so afraid that it was impossible to move forward, to even take one small step? It happened to me when I was facing one of the most significant decisions of my life. After nearly 40 years of nursing, I was not only ready to retire but was being pushed by the unseen hands of Spirit to do it soon. The nagging sense of “now is the time” could not be shaken. However, questions rattled in my head at Mach speeds like: How can I afford health insurance? Will I be able to pay all my bills on Social Security? Will my healing practice give me enough money to save for vacations and travel? What if I get seriously ill? Could I lose the home of my dreams? It was like a broken record, those questions playing over and over in my head. I continued to work, comfortable with my substantial nursing salary and ‘better than most’ health insurance policies. But I could not ignore Life’s prodding. If I did not follow what my intuition was telling me, then my stomach was in a vise grip. I was literally blocked by my monkey mind rambling on about all the “what ifs.”
One weekend while attending the Oregon Holistic Nurses Association yearly conference at Breitenbush, I had a surreal experience. During one of our sessions, we were guided by a gifted Shaman into a deep Inner Journey. It was here that the answers came. I recall during the meditation hearing “You are going through a paradigm shift, and instead of exchanging hours for money, now you will be creating multiple streams of income, layered residual income.” Suddenly, something snapped in my brain. I got it! As Albert Einstein said, “You can’t solve a problem with the same mind that created it.” I just had a mind shift and was suddenly able to see clearly the answers I needed to go forward with retirement.
In facing fear, we need to know that our infinite potential exists on the other side of our comfort zones and if we want to actualize our highest potential we need to break through it. We need to condition ourselves to get excited about the challenges in our lives and instead of avoiding fear and pain we need to run straight at them screaming boldly, “BRING IT ON.” It has been shown that when people feel anxious, they are thinking about all the things that could go wrong. When they get excited, they are thinking about all the things that could go well.
Getting through fear is a skill that anyone can learn. Before you can overcome it, you must become aware that your fear is causing havoc in your life. When one identifies with their fears, they become distracted from their essential nature. You are NOT your fears but the awareness that is experiencing it. Become curious but not attached. Just notice the emotions it is bringing up. Dive deep into a self-inquiry with compassion and love.
Where are you feeling that emotion? How old were you when you first felt that emotion? For example, I noticed that my fear was bringing up a sense of lack and feelings of sadness. I was feeling it in my gut. I was five years old when I asked my parents to buy me a pony, and they said “Where do you think we are going to get that kind of money? Money doesn’t grow on trees.” My anger at not “getting my desires met” caused a belief that there was never enough. I made a promise to myself I would never be poor, I would make a million dollars. So a subconscious program was implanted. I was then run by this program...always trying to get rich quick. Simply by seeing this pattern or program, by shining the light of awareness on it, I was able to bring it into the present situation and see how a 5-year-old was running my life. She was fearful of not having enough money. Fearful of being broke. Once realized, I could delete the program and add a new one: “I always have what I need.” From here I created an opening to see clearly all kinds of new possibilities. I would have never become a best-selling author had I not broken through.
Today, I live a life of abundance, not that I made that million dollars, but all my needs are always met. I remain in gratitude for all that I have. By using the mantra, “This is just the beginning of my abundance and there is so much more coming,” surprises come seemingly from the unknown. This is the new norm for my life. As a child going to Disneyland for the first time, I remain curious and adventurous day to day. I can “stand in not knowing” and be at peace.
About Anita Stewart, RN: Anita Stewart, RN graduated from nursing school in 1978. In 1981, she experienced critical injuries from a horse accident. During the recuperative period following the event, she was awakened to her God-given gifts of Energy healing and intuitive counseling. She has a private practice in Bend, OR. called “Bridges of the Heart” where she sees private clients. She also does phone readings/healings. Her passion is to bridge energy medicine with mainstream medicine. Retiring from hospital nursing in 2016 has allowed her to focus exclusively on her practice, writing, teaching classes and community service. A co-author in “Life Sparks” granted her the title of best selling author. Taking leisure in the great outdoors of the Pacific Northwest, she and her fiance, Brian, love playing Pickleball, kayaking, camping, hiking, and exploring new areas. She is available for private sessions and can be reached through her website: http://bridgesoftheheart.com
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